i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
