you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
I touched a dick in church today
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
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