I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
Randomize
