I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
