my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
