there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
