that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize