I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
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