so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
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