random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
