Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
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