Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Randomize
