The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
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