Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize