real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Randomize
