this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
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