Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Randomize
