At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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