I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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