Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Randomize
