Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
