please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
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