my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
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