I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
