Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I'm sobbing to NWA
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
