im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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