whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
