I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Randomize