You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Randomize
