i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
