Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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