is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
In other news, I just burned my penis
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Come share oat with me in your robe
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