WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Randomize
