the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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