If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's like a pop up book from hell.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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