He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Randomize
