So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
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