I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Randomize
