don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
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