I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
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