i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
