Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
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