I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
ttyl tear gas
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Randomize
