I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Randomize
