If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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