i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
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