I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
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I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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