i just made my gag reflex go away.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize