My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Randomize
