Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
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