i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
Randomize
