She went from zero to smokin in five shots
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
