whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
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