I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
