That's when you crack a 10am beer
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
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