why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
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