He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Randomize