2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
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