how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Randomize
