THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
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